Friday July 31, 2009
Not just today but most days. Why?
Consumerism. Is that a real word? I am a consumer. I want and need to buy things. Seems pretty simple doesn't it, well let me tell you it is not. Liken it to trying to buy rockinghorse shit from a traveling snake oil salesman.
I'm not talking about huge purchases, some slightly specialized, yes, but right down to the daily shit... for the love of god! Why is this so hard?
Todays item is called Mold release. If you are like 95% of the Ottawans I have asked about this product this last week, you will be sitting there right now saying huh?
Simply, when you make something out of fibreglass, its usually in or on a mold. To stop your glass sticking to the mold forever, you apply a release agent. which is a fancy name for non-stick shit that comes as a wax, paste or even in an aerosol.
I'm building a boat, my first one. I was getting tired of crashing planes and decided that a boat would calm me down, relax me, remove the evil stress from my body... and to really enjoy it, I'm building it from scratch.
Great plan, but wait a sec... materials. Hmmm... nothing too spectacular....
- Fibreglass
- Carbon fibre tube and cloth
- Wood
- Some fittings
- Radio gear
Straight back to the rockinghorse shit my friends. Oh, I have discovered that I no longer have the ability to use Google correctly. I will have a bloody stroke before getting results that are of any use. Hey, the designer of my boat, sitting in his villa in France had more luck than me. Most of that, I am convinced, is because Canada businesses decided not to go with that Google thing, as it probably wouldn't catch on.
So the short of it is this week has been spent driving all over the city in frustration, looking for the most benign items, talking to people who for the most part, think I am from another planet. I might as well be for the results.
So fuck you Ottawa.
----------------------------
It's the start of a 3 day weekend, Civic holiday. Not bad, always keen for a day off. I could hmmmm, i don't know, maybe glass my boat? Fat chance.
I saw this interesting Indian ritual has made it to the headlines... Dropping babies off the temple
Michael Jackson dangled his off a balcony and world gasped! These guys have been doing the real deal for 700 years!
Thanks to Matt for showing me this interesting vid of the Hoff The Hoff drunk and trying to eat a burger... and why he is such a legend in Germany... I can't fight this feeling...
Now I might be 10 million miles away on the other side of the world, but a rant like this from one of my best mates is too big a challenge to turn down.
After all the years of getting himself into sticky situations (not like that - get yer mind out of the gutter), its not surprising that he needs something to release the tension (get yer mind out of the gutter again).
So, i trundled along to www.google.ca, and tried the obvious query:
ottawa mould release -"for bloody useless tight arse ex kiwi goose"
and guess what, hit number one is "Plastics of Ottawa", with mold release for sale on the front page.
Well, i might be naive, but is'nt this what you were after?
Get with the program bro, and learn how to search.
I tried "google search help for bloody idiots", but it came back with a bloody useless page from some other fuckwit - www.fosm.co.nz
F'in hopeless!
Reply to this
Ah Spanner-man... good to hear from you my friend.
Your google result is correct, yes Plastics of Ottawa is indeed the correct Ottawa, the correct product and god-damnit 30 minutes drive from here, but here's the kicker... [voicemail] "Sorry but we are closed for summer holidays..."
Closed for summer holidays!? WTF? Is it run by school kids? Wish my job was closed for summer...
Needless to say, good old Kiwi ingenuity took over and got the job done. Take it easy on the "ex Kiwi" there mate, once a Kiwi - always a Kiwi
Taken from one of my favourite (see Kiwi spelling) movies of all time, my new quote is "Goose doesn't search..." Linda being the search legend that she is, is now my search engine. Works bloody well.
*LOL* Fridge! You have a stray L in your stream. I'm guessing that is much better than stray blood in your piss, but I'm no doctor.
Cheers mate
Goose
Reply to this
Holy titty christ Goose did Ottawa slash your tires this weekend or what? Ottawa's the armpit of the world because something that sounds like an ingredient required by terrorists is hard to find? For fuck sakes we have highways stretching thousands of miles to Eskimo's villages and gays\junkies rights to uphold-we have our priorities. We apologize if we are failing to provide you with the tools to litter our lakes and rivers with your hobby debris as our open spaces are no witnessing.
Reply to this
Haha! Good one Sundog...
You're not the first to liken me to a terrorist... there was those 3 big dudes with guns at LAX July 2005 who didn't have much of a sense of humour.
Canadian priorities... thats a subject that will need its own thread!
I'm sure that being the retarded cousin to the US has its own charm that I am yet to discover but I'm buggered why settling for mediocrity is ok...
Ottawa isnt so much the armpit as the navel of some svelt swedish chick, its nice and everything but just a little too north of paradise and too south of the mountains and rivers... imagine the trek for Fridge waaaay round to the other side!
Forget your gay, junkie eskimo friends buddy, how about adding infrastructure to your priorities... you know, like roads that don't resemble goat tracks for example.
My littering your lakes is the least of your worries eh, your taxi drivers alone would get George W. into quite a sweat...
Why is it you moved from the gorgeous west coast to the navel of Canada again? It sure as hell wasn't for the weather or the local hockey team
Later.
G
Reply to this